Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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