I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize