my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
