I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
