drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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