I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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