the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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