can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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