Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize