Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
