Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
