Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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