Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
