you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
