I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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