You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I didn't notice because vodka
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
