girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
