I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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