i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
