but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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