I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
