And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
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I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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