We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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