I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
