I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
