Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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