I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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