last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
