those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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