how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
