Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
