omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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