What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
