all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
