apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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