Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
