Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
handjob tips. give me some.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
