Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
