this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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