Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
