well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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