Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
