Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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