it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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