It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she peed on how many people?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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