I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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