Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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