Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
