the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
