he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Randomize
