we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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