Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I did not marry a roomba.
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