Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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