it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
