Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
