i already hear my dad disowning me
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
