Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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