Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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