How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize