I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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