508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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